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Monday, June 20, 2011

Bmag June 21st 2011 - Trivia night terror

When my son Jack started school six years ago, I may have told the principal I was willing to do anything with a microphone as long as I never had to turn sausages! I say “may” at the instruction of my lawyers who are currently working on getting me out of hosting trivia nights for the rest of my life!

But it’s not just the school that invites me to host trivia nights – and truth be told, I generally always say yes!

You see, I have a head for useless information and I love asking quiz questions but for reasons I shall explain, running trivia nights is the most terrifying duty I am ever asked to perform! If you’ve ever been to one, you’ll have an idea where I’m going with this. But there are some behind-the-scenes goings on I am ready to reveal!

The obvious challenges for a trivia night host are: firstly, the people at the back who can’t hear, partly because of the ageing PA system, but mostly because of the people in front of them yapping all night; secondly, the people who are yapping all night but still ask you to repeat all the questions!

Then there are those who delight in pointing out others who are using their mobiles to phone-a-friend or search the internet and ask “What are you going to do about it?!”

Finally, there’s the table of professionals who go from trivia night to trivia night with specialists in different subject areas. They take their own booze informed (not adding further to the fundraising effort), drink too much of that booze and spend all night querying the answers. They also tend to win, much to the chagrin of the organising committee.

But sometimes it’s the organisers themselves who bring on the MC terror. Specifically, the person who’s been volunteered – probably against their will – to come up with the questions. At one bowls club trivia night the questions were written by a rail employee. The one which almost caused a riot was: in the Santa Claus Steam Train Special departing Roma Street on December 13, how many passengers are allowed in the dining car in each sitting?!!

Another time I wasn’t allowed to pay World War One as the answer because the question-writer insisted it wasn’t called World War ONE until there had been a World War TWO!

And once, the person in charge of marking made a simple mathematical mistake and the wrong team was awarded all the prizes. I hadn’t noticed either but at the very end of the night, whilst the chairs were being stacked, one of the actual winners whispered in my ear. (He’s now an MP, so maybe this story will one day surface in his autobiography!)

So what have I learned from hosting all these trivia nights? For one thing, always provide your own questions!

At least if you’ve done the research, you’re in a position to argue the toss. Unfortunately this still isn’t fail-safe. Thanks to the urban-myth-busting www.snopes.com deliberately planting mistruths on its own website – apparently to teach people never to rely on one source! – I erroneously marked people down for saying the talking horse Mr Ed wasn’t played by a zebra! (And would you believe, the same aforementioned now- MP was there again! And yes, it is possible his team would have won the night if not for that one mistake by yours truly!)

But the main thing I’ve learned is that when Jack starts high school in 2013, I won’t tell anyone that I work in radio! Instead, I’ll turn up to the first P&C meeting with my barbecue apron on and tongs in hand!

Entertainment overload

In the last issue of bmag, I lamented the difficulty of keeping up with all the movies, television, books and music that are created every year.

Jen Hansen emailed: “There is never enough time to watch and listen to everything but if you keep an open mind, occasionally you stumble across some timeless pop culture gems.”

Bruce Redman tweeted me: “It’s awkward when a person marries younger
and they don’t have the same pop culture history.”

And Andrew Murrell said it saddened him to think of all the television he would never see – shows that will be made after we are all long gone. Time machine anyone?

Monday, June 6, 2011

Bmag June 7th 2011 - Keeping with TV, movies, music and books

Think how many movies are made each year. Add all the television hours that are produced. How are we meant to keep up?

We’ve had television in Australia since 1956 (1959 in Brisbane) and we’ve been making feature films since 1906 (The Story of the Kelly Gang was the first) and that’s just in Australia. Globally, the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com) lists more than 55,000 television series (more than 991,000 episodes) and 257,000+ movies. And those numbers are growing daily.

My son Jack was born 28 years after me. That means, to hold his own in a conversation about popular culture, he has to absorb 28 more years of television shows and movies. Not to mention 28 more years of books. And then there’s music.

As a radio presenter, music is close to my heart. Sometimes when I give talks at service clubs and the like, I’m asked if I can play “better music” on air. What this generally means is “the music of my formative years”. The trouble is that we’ve had pop music – songs that still sound great in 2011 – since the 1950s. Certainly since the 1960s. Since I started on radio in 1990, there are 21 more years’ worth of popular music from which to choose. And still only 24 hours in each day!

Perhaps you think you have a firm handle on the popular culture of the past 50 years. But what about your children? And your children’s children? And your informed children’s children’s children?! The only way future generations will be able to keep up is for someone to invent a way of downloading movies and television series directly into the brain within seconds!

One thing you can do to help the next generation is to consciously expose your children to your favourite music, movies and television shows. So far at my place, I’ve scored wins with The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Goodies, Dr Who, Monty Python and The Muppet Show. I’ve had less success getting Jack hooked on 2001-A Space Odyssey. But there’s still time. He’s only 11. And I know I’ll be able to get him hooked on Man About the House!

When I asked my listeners if they’d done this, the phone lines went into melt-down. It seems many of us harbour the desire to preserve and pass on the popular culture that means something to us.

But it’s an uphill battle. Cast your mind forward and imagine what things will be like in 500 or 1000 years. Which movies will everyone still know and watch in 2511? As the years pass, the cut-off grade for a movie to survive the next generation and the next will get tougher and tougher. Sorry to say it, but perhaps none of the movies made until now will still be watched in 500 years.

Back to television in 2011 and one of the side-effects of these myriad shows on however many channels there are is an end to the mass watching of TV shows. There are exceptions – phenomena like MasterChef and our lingering attachment to the evening news, for example – but on the whole we’re heading away from the traditional notion of the nation watching something together. The downloading of television series, and their availability on DVD and Blu- Ray, further drives us to choose and watch TV in small groups or alone. And I reckon that’s a shame.

Back in the ’90s, I went to a Melrose Place party at a five-star hotel in Brisbane’s CBD! As a reporter, you understand! Across the country pubs would host weekly viewing nights. I can’t imagine too many shows these days having that sort of mass appeal or pulling power.

My blueprint for power (If I ruled Queensland) in the last issue of bmag sparked quite a reaction. The policy that appeared to resonate most was my promise that television shows would start and finish on time.

On Twitter, people were fighting over various ministries. For example, self-described Corporate Clown James Caldwell nominated himself Minister for Dr Who! James, you can be the Minister Assisting the Minister for Dr Who (because that will be me!)

Alan Clarke emailed: “Loved your article but you’ve missed one. Make it illegal for restaurants to insist ‘one bill per table’.” I agree!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Bmag May 24th 2011 - When Spencer is Premier

Nova 106.9 breakfast host Meshel Laurie was recently asked in a live chat online who she hopes is Premier of Queensland after the next election. Her reply: “I wish Spencer Howson could be our Premier. It would be a lovely, informative state and [referring to my penchant for donning ABC-branded clothing] we’d all wear tidy polo shirts every day”.

Crikey, I thought to myself. With Meshel Laurie’s clout behind me, I’d better come up with some policies quicksmart. I started jotting down ideas. I also enlisted my ABC breakfast listeners and together we’ve come up with a blue-print for my assault on the top job. Email me at spencer@bmag.com.au with any additional policy ideas!

It goes without saying that world peace and an end to poverty and discrimination top the list and will be achieved within the first 100 days. But the real question is: what next?

First of all, there will be a government-sponsored advertising campaign reminding people how to use apostrophes, the difference between “there is” and “there are”, and when to use “fewer” instead of “less”. A second campaign will teach people how to indicate on roundabouts and how to stand on escalators (to the left unless overtaking).

In a similar vein, ABC listener Pam of Eatons Hill wants white dotted lines on all footpaths to encourage people to walk on the left. Sue says pub pool rules should be standardised. For example, does a coin on the table mean you play the winner or you take over the table? Colin, of Bribie Island, suggests a set day and time for leaf-blowing and mowing to make the rest of the week just a little bit more peaceful!

Under a Howson government, airports will paint a yellow line two metres from the luggage carousel, behind which passengers can wait until they see their bags.

Shops and fast food restaurants will have one queue, peeling off at the cash registers. There is no fairer way of deciding who is served next. It also saves the stress of trying to pick the fastest queue! There will be no such thing as a minimum EFTPOS transaction. Instead, you will be given the option to pay a small surcharge. I watched a young boy the other day unable to purchase a $4.99 toy because of a shop’s $10 minimum transaction. I’m sure he would have been happier to pay an extra 15 cents than cough up another $5.

Listener Glenn, from Eden’s Landing, wants petrol stations to display tomorrow’s price alongside today’s. Chris suggests a signal be devised so that motorists can indicate they’re about to perform a U-Turn. Marlene says seniors wanting smaller portions should be allowed to order from the children’s menu in restaurants.

When I’m Premier, we’ll have more doors on trains, making it easier for passengers to get on and off, and speeding up the entire network. When you have no mobile phone coverage, you will be given the option to pay a small fee to use a different carrier. This will be just like paying to use another bank’s ATM. TV shows will start and finish on time. Post offices will have stamp machines, or separate stamp queues, so you don’t get stuck behind people paying bills, applying for passports and buying novelty office equipment for birthday presents!

Finally, to ensure the ongoing support of my campaign manager Meshel Laurie, everyone will be supplied with free polo shirts!

In response to my last column on improv vs scripted theatre, I received a note from Alison Pollard-Mansergh who plays Sybil in the touring Faulty Towers Dining Experience. Alison is back home in Brisbane now but was on tour in the Netherlands – they read bmag online all over the world! – when she wrote: “I’m often asked how I could play the same role in the same show for 14 years. The reason is that the show is both scripted and improvised. Often the audience doesn’t know where the script ends and the improv begins. This is a huge joy for us as performers. It’s about time improv had a resurgence in Brisbane. International festivals such as Edinburgh and Brighton Fringes are full of fantastic edge-of-your-seat improv shows.”

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Bmag May 10th 2011 - Improv vs scripted theatre

There’s a theatre show in Brisbane at the moment which never ends the same way twice. As a result, fans return night after night and are rewarded with a different experience every time. But it’s risky for both the performers and the audience.

It’s called Prognosis: Death! and is best described as a long-form improvised comedy. You might know improvisational theatre – or improv – from TV shows such as Whose Line is it Anyway? and Thank God You’re Here. Those with a longer memory might recall Theatre Sports on ABC TV in the late 1980s, introduced by Paul Chubb and featuring the likes of Andrew Denton, Shaun Micallef and Glenn Robbins.

Unlike Theatre Sports, with its short games and sketches, Prognosis: Death! is a single story, similar in length to a scripted play and with an interval, but the plot is concocted on the night, based on suggestions – or “offers” – from the audience. This particular show has become something of a cult hit and is currently playing its fourth season.

Queensland Theatre Company also has a long-form semi-improvised work playing in Brisbane this month. An Oak Tree is a two-hander. One actor has a script whilst the other must improvise. The latter role is being performed by 23 different actors during the season.

But improv theatre is not for everyone. I started to wonder whether there was a strong divide in the theatre community between traditional plays and improv so I put the question to my actor friend Norman Doyle.

Norman quickly calmed down my journalistic instinct to paint the story in black and white! He says, “It seems to me an odd debate. There’s no real conflict between actors doing plays and those doing improv. They’re often the same people. Improv is useful for actors in plays, both in rehearsal and, when required, on stage. To contrive a division is spurious. We’re all in the same pool, but are more proficient at different strokes than others.”

However, when asked about his preference, Norman Doyle offered this insight: “I’m not big into improv for the simple reason that many practitioners are 10 times less funny than they think they are. If you play funny, you’re less funny.” Ouch.

Natalie Bochenski, artistic director of ImproMafia, the company behind Prognosis: Death!, admits “it can fail. It does fail. But when you hit a high note, when a story comes together, or a joke just bursts out of nowhere and makes the audience guffaw, the feeling is unlike anything I personally experience in scripted theatre. You could say the lows are lower but the highs are oh-so-higher.

“Some actors don’t like improvisation or won’t do it. Some say they don’t have the skill for it but I suspect it’s more about fear.”

Of course, that risk is there for the Theatre on the edge audience as well. If you’re hooked in by a positive theatre review and go along to a play, you’re safe in the knowledge you will see close to the same production you were reading about in the review. But with improv, you can’t be sure what you’ll see.

The fact is, some improv moments will fall flat. But from my experience, the audience is always so supportive, so ready to be taken on a mystery tour, that somehow it works. It’s not the dips you’ll remember the next day. It’s the great moments and the huge belly-laughs. And you’ll marvel at where the performers pulled them from.

Prognosis: Death! is on at Brisbane Arts Theatre, Petrie Terrace, and An Oak Tree is on at Bille Brown Studio, South Brisbane, both until 14 May. Norman Doyle’s next play is Nina Raine’s Rabbit at Metro Arts, city, from 22 July to 6 August.

Finally, in my column in bmag a few weeks ago (22 March), I told you about Evan Davis and his event-based travels around the world. Evan’s Twitter friends have just spent a couple of weeks with him in the UK, at the Royal Wedding and searching for the Loch Ness Monster. Evan, dubbed “The Man in the Front Row of History”, was even part of the BBC’s coverage of the wedding! For those who are keen to armchairtravel with Evan, his next event is the Eurovision Song Contest in Germany. Click on twitter.com/evanonthegc.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Bmag April 26th 2011 - Discovering Brisbane's past

The Howsons are off to Washington soon and my wife Nikki has been reading just about everything ever published on visiting the US capital. Recently Nikki was reeling off all the museums in DC.

There’s the Spy Museum, the Air and Space Museum, the Museum of African Art, the Jewish Museum, the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of Women in the Arts, the Museum of Crime and Punishment...and the list goes on. Heck, apparently the gift shop alone at the American Building Museum is one not to miss.

But all this talk of museums in Washington reminded me of all the ones we have right here in Brisbane. No doubt you know the Queensland Museum and the Museum of Brisbane (currently at 157 Ann Street) but what about some of the others?

For example, you don’t have to go to Melbourne to ride a tram. On a Sunday afternoon, take the family to the Brisbane Tramway Museum at Ferny Grove. The Workshops Rail Museum at Ipswich runs semi-regular steam train trips from Brisbane.

Underneath the Goodwill Bridge is the Maritime Museum with its centrepiece, the Queensland-built frigate Diamantina, on which Japanese garrisons on Nauru Island and Ocean Island signed surrender documents at the end of World War Two. The Maritime Museum’s latest acquisition is Jessica Watson’s round-the-world yacht Pink Lady. Become a member ($40 for a family) and you get exclusive access to one of the best vantage points for Riverfire.

The Queensland Telecommunications Museum at Clayfield introduces you to the world of pre-electric and electronic forms of communication. If you can successfully send your full name in Morse Code to one of the museum’s qualified telegraphists, you can purchase (for a dollar!) a certificate celebrating your achievement. One of Brisbane’s newest museums is the MacArthur Museum on Queen Street, from where General Douglas MacArthur commanded Allied Forces between 1942 and 1944. Sit at the same table where MacArthur developed strategies when thousands of American troops were based here, filling our shops, cafes and pubs and entertaining our women!

At the Queensland Military Memorial Museum in Fortitude Valley, there are pre-federation Queensland military uniforms, medals, weapons, trench art and other memorabilia. The Queensland Police Museum at Police Headquarters shows you the history of policing from 1864. You can test your detective skills using clues from a simulated murder scene. The Queensland Racing Museum at Eagle Farm is one of only eight in the world dedicated to thoroughbred racing. The Museum of Lands, Mapping and Surveying houses the artefacts used to determine the state border.

QUT Gardens Point has an Art Museum. And at the University of Queensland, St Lucia campus, there are no fewer than six separate museums, including the Anthropology Museum, the Antiquities Celebrating the past Museum, the Museum of Medical History and the Physics Museum.

For a day-trip, there’s the Redcliffe Museum, the Queensland Ambulance Museum at Wynnum, the Redland Museum in Cleveland, the North Stradbroke Island Historical Museum, the Samford Museum and the Yugambeh Language and Heritage Museum in Beenleigh. And I haven’t even started on the historic buildings like Newstead House, the Commissariat Store and Miegunyah.

It is sometimes said that we don’t appreciate our heritage in Brisbane and it’s true we’ve lost plenty of beautiful old buildings along the way. But, at the same time, we have no shortage of places celebrating our past. And I reckon I might have just about matched the number of museums on Nikki’s Washington to-do list!

In the last issue of bmag I explained the benefits of converting to digital radio. Here are some of the comments from people who have tuned in. Jono Perry described the column as “absolutely fantastic” and added, “I have three digital radios and couldn’t live without them.” Ken Jones wrote: “I have put up with the tragic AM band but now help has arrived. To me, it is not quite FM but it leaves AM for dead.” And Katie Clift tweeted me: “There’s an SBS Eurovision channel?! All my Christmases have come at once!”

Monday, April 11, 2011

Bmag April 12th 2011 - Digital Radio

You may have read that 612 ABC Brisbane did very well in the first radio ratings survey of 2011. Whilst B105 is the top-rating station overall, I’m extremely proud that for the past 12 months, 612 Breakfast has consistently been the most popular morning radio show in Brisbane. However, there is a second set of listening figures released at the end of last month which I am just as excited about.

Less than two years after its launch, digital radio now has more than 700,000 listeners around the country. Not bad for new technology that’s taken a while to come down in price and that noone has been told much about.

Eventually it’s expected AM and FM will be switched off and you will need to make the move over to digital (or DAB+ to give it its proper name). And if that all sounds familiar, you’re right. It’s just like the switch to digital TV. Remember when ABC TV was just one channel? Now we have ABC1, ABC2, ABC3 and ABC24. Digital radio provides this same choice.

612 ABC Brisbane has had as many as four different shows on air at once, using analogue and digital services. For example, every Friday night during footy season, ABC digital radio listeners can choose between AFL, NRL or a sport-free evening show. Earlier this year, the ABC mounted temporary channels called Queensland Floods, Cyclone Yasi and Christchurch Earthquake, each carrying live rolling news. The recent Cricket World Cup was broadcast live on digital radio. And on 25 April, there will be an ANZAC Day channel broadcasting archival material as well as ANZAC Day services from around Australia and abroad.

It’s not just the ABC getting into multi-channel digital radio. Every month, 4KQ’s second channel plays a feature artist non-stop. These have included U2, Queen and The Beatles. There are new music stations, like Radar and Nova Nation. Barry is a 24-hour comedy station. Popular community stations 96-Five and 4ZZZ each have a second channel on digital radio. And SBS soon will switch on a Eurovision Song Contest channel, playing hits and misses from the past 50 years.

There are some sticking points with digital radio, not least of which has been the cost of the receivers. However, you can now buy a decent digital radio for between $50 and $100. The coverage area needs improving. I have picked up digital radio as far north as Bald Hills, west to Ipswich and south to Waterford. But if you’re on the Gold or Sunshine Coasts, don’t even bother. There’s also a school of thought that says internet listening – including via phone apps – will make digital radio redundant. I’d argue that whilst online listening is popular, it also incurs a download cost. By contrast, digital radio is free-to-air and who doesn’t like something that’s free?

As you can tell, I am passionate about radio. It’s the instant medium you can take with you anywhere and have on in the background no-matter what you’re doing. But, competing as it is against online news and personal MP3 music collections, radio has to reinvent itself and keep pace. That’s why I’m so excited about those digital radio listening and sales figures.

Most exciting of all is the recent news that some car manufacturers will soon start installing digital radios as standard. Once your new car introduces your ears to digital radio, you will understand what I’ve been going on about for these past two years!

Four reasons to get excited about digital radio:

1. Superior sound quality. FM listeners won’t notice much difference but you should hear your favourite AM radio station in digital stereo.

2. Digital radios have a screen on which your radio station can post news, weather or the name of a song.

3. Some digital radios have the ability to pause and rewind. This is similar to the PVR you might have for your TV.

4. Finally, and this is the clincher, radio stations can have more than one program on air at once.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Bmag March 22nd 2011 - Charlie Sheen and Evan Davis

When Charlie Sheen launched himself on Twitter recently, we were immediately reminded what makes the social networking site so good. At the same time, we were reminded what makes it so bad. So good is the instant and direct access to celebrities. So bad is the instant and direct access to celebrities!

If you’re not into Twitter, then you’re probably a Facebooker instead. Not many people seem to be in both Team Facebook and Team Twitter. If you’ve listened to me on radio, you’ll know I’m firmly in the Twitter camp.

Everyone’s experience is unique, and what you get out of social networking depends on who you follow (Twitter) or befriend (Facebook), but I have to agree with this explanation (source unknown): “Twitter makes you love people you’ve never met. Facebook makes you hate the ones you know.”

I can’t think of a 12-month period where I’ve met as many new friends as I did in 2010, all thanks to Twitter. I’m looking at you @PeterJBlack, @VoodooDollSinna, @SimonBand, @Annieb25, @Taezar, @HeathC and @KatieClift!

But the Twitter friend I most want to tell you about is an unassuming 30-something bloke called Evan Davis or @EvanontheGC.

Evan’s hobby is taking his Twitter followers travelling with him. Evan doesn’t have a partner – he’d love to find the right lady – but has hundreds of companions wherever he goes. What’s unusual about Evan’s travels is that, thanks to “a few good investments”, he’s already been to most countries we’d all love to visit so now he concentrates on what he calls “event holidays”.

Last year, he went to the Canberra tally room on election night, returning to the national capital for the first day of parliament. (The poor bloke didn’t pack his good shoes and ended up wearing a pair lent to him by the Member for Moreton, Graham Perrett!)

There was the Eurovision Song Contest where Evan met and was photographed with the winner. New Year’s Eve was spent watching the crystal ball dropping at Times Square. And, naturally, his next trip is to London for the royal wedding.

Evan also has a curiosity for local events, taking his followers to the first game of the relaunched Brisbane Bandits baseball team and on an official bus tour of the Ipswich Motorway roadworks! Evan’s now part of my ABC radio show, known as “the man in the front row of history”. I can’t wait to hear his reports from William and Kate’s nuptials.

Recently, Evan and I sat down over lunch to talk about the pitfalls of travelling alone. It’s well known that hotels cost more if you’re on your own but worse, apparently, are the constant approaches from prostitutes. Evan says one night he had to fend off nine and was forced to retreat to his room! By contrast, Twitter has made travelling alone much more enjoyable. Evan’s followers back home are always with him, commenting on photos and suggesting things for him to do.

So next time you hear about Charlie Sheen, or some other reckless celebrity, giving Twitter a bad name, think about the good people for whom Twitter is truly life-improving. People like Evan Davis.